Wanted: One minion for unfinished projects


A stitch you did one time that costs you exponentially more time and effort later on (don't trust the maxim).

A stitch you did one time that costs you exponentially more time and effort later on (don’t trust the maxim).

I’m quite good at lots of things. I’d even go as far as to say I’m moderately Ok at most things (please don’t being up things like brain surgery- you know I’m talking daily basis stuff here, and if you bring it up again I’ll be forced to try my hand at it which could end pretty badly). However, having an interest in everything and being able to ‘at-least-sort-of’ do it, means I never get really excellent at any one thing and I also always have a lot of half finished projects on the go.

My poor little flat is perpetually furnished with unfinished ideas in varying degrees of competition. Every available surface is coated with drying half-finished watercolour illustrations which, having been painted onto the wrong sort of paper, have to be done in painstakingly slow stages so that the colours don’t leach into each other.

There is a half-naked tailors mannequin who until recently was dressed in a half-made top that I had accidentally stitched to her boob. In this morning’s effort to actually finish something, I snipped it off around the attached area and now poor Diana (for that is her name) is stood patiently behind me in all her plastic bare-breasted glory. The aforementioned top now needs stitching properly, the piece of Diana having been carefully subtracted from the offending dart, and finally printed with pretty patterns (because having fallen out of love with the fabric (which was a charity shop bargain roll of silk which turned out to be polyester and is therefore undyable) I need to bring up the colour in a different way). The timescale for this project is actually a little bit hilarious. I bought the fabric when I was just finishing University and sketched a flurry of ideas for what to make with it. I then flew to Australia, came back a year later, adopted Diana and began making the thing. That final stage was approximately 6 months ago. In timeline formation, that would look something like this:

project timeline

And that’s just the stuff in my flat. Back at home I have various pieces of ‘rubbish’ that certainly may not be thrown out, because I’ve got ideas for them that will eventually happen one day (they will!). On the kitchen windowsill, for example I am harbouring a burnt to death saucepan that one day I will fill with compost and plant rocket seedlings in. I will get round to it just as soon as I’ve finished my other projects… On my PC is a veritable feast of unfinished literary works of genius. There are ideas for children’s stories, novels, plans for articles and character studies yet to be enshrouded in actual narrative. This stuff is gold dust man! But it’ll probably never go to print before the computer dies and takes the lot down with it.

I suppose this is where having minions comes in. I really wish that I could have the great ideas, start them off (all sorts) and then get people to do the bits that I don’t relish so very much and keep the pace of things going. If I didn’t have to tack before I could machine sew, I’d have finished that top a year ago (and Diana would still have her boob in tact)! If I had someone who could paint in all the block colour backgrounds for me and leave me the interesting foreground details, my watercolours would be flying! If someone would only peel off the rest of Diana’s felt pieces and give her a nice new body covering, I’d start on a new project right away! I’ve got all these ideas…


2 thoughts on “Wanted: One minion for unfinished projects

  1. We’d be a good team!!!! I’ve got loads of art materials just begging for the dog to die and me to be a cripple!!! And a red and black squared pullover that I started on a long train journey in 1979, and an all-in-one baby grow (1989) which I lost courage with as I held it up to admire its newly knitted booties, to find the feet pointed in opposite directions…. and the legs twice as long as the body….. roll on old age!!

    lg Sue

    • Oh amazing Sue! I’m so glad I’m not the only one :p I think between us we’d need a large troupe of minions! But I don’t mind sharing if it means having a creative workshop in the Swiss alps… :p Perhaps your baby-grow belongs in an art gallery…? A metaphor for how we shape a child’s future, set them on the right path etc (or give them 2 left feet) 😀 x X x

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